Monday, May 16, 2022

An Ode to Bill

On the same day that Robert had his Vagus Nerve episode, his brother Bill also finally succumbed to this horrible, awful disease that is Huntington's Disease at the age of 57.

May be an image of 1 person, indoor and hospital


His passing comes with many mixed emotions for the family. There is a lot of bad blood between him and other family members for a number of different reasons. Bill was never the easiest person to get along with. He could be a very mean and combative guy. And that was before HD even started to affect him. 

From previous blogs, you may remember that he lived with us for a time, too. It was hard. He was not an easy guy to live with on his best days. It was very hard on Robert, too. He struggled with his feelings of anger over the things that went on when they were children and his servant heart that made him want to take care of everybody. It was not easy. 

In the end. the youngest brother Kevin took him in and let him live with them for quite some time. Once it became difficult for Kevin to adequately care for him, with Bill's blessing he was moved to a nursing home to be cared for. In December of last year, when he fell and broke his hip, the decision was made to move him to hospice. He was in no condition to withstand the surgery and rehab. Instead, they did their best to make him comfortable and as pain-free as possible until the end. 

But in the end, the passing was peaceful. The nurses at the hospice center took him out on the deck and let him watch the birds chirping away while they stayed with him. He was able to pass peacefully and not alone. And, he is finally free from the disease that ravaged his body for so many years. As Robert said at one point, he is now in Heaven dancing with their mom to Elvis music.

Over the weekend, Robert and I made the 1,000+ mile journey to North Carolina to be a part of his memorial service after he had been cremated. In the words of Kevin, the plan was to spend the day doing all the things Bill loved to do - eating, smoking, stealing people's stuff and fighting each other. We did some of that. We ate and some people smoked and the guys all played football and badminton instead of fighting each other. Some fighting and stealing were done but in a joking and loving way. We think Bill would have been happy to see it all. 

We also spent some time reminiscing about Bill and forgiveness and the hope that he realized everybody there and forgiven him for the things that went on when they were children. It was these memories that made everyone come to the realization that Bill took the brunt of the abuse they suffered from their father. He would often stand between their dad and whoever he was going after at that time. So, it is understandable that he was a bit angry and bitter. He did have a hard life. 

He is at peace now. His body is free from this awful disease that has already claimed his mom and is impacting the lives of other family members around us. That's all anybody can ask for.



In the words of the song by Vince Gill - "Go rest high on that mountain,  Son, your work on earth is done"