It Was My Choice

I guess I am the lucky one. I got to chose if I wanted to make Huntington’s Disease a part of my life or if I wanted to get as far away from it as I possibly could.  My now husband and I had been dating only a few weeks when he dropped the bombshell on me that he had HD.  At the time, I wasn’t sure what that meant or what it would entail.  I did some research to find out what it was, spent some time talking to his sister who has the disease and spent a lot of time praying for guidance on whether I not I should end things with him or keep on seeing him.  Considering we are now in our 6^th year of marriage, I am sure you can figure out the outcome.

So, why did I decide to stay with him knowing that one day I might lose him? And that it would be one of the hardest things I would ever have to endure while I watched him slowly deteriorate right before my eyes? Simple answer because I loved him then and love him today. When it is all said and done, I would rather enjoy five or ten years of great times and wonderful memories over living without him in my life. I still felt that way after I spent time with his mother who was already in the advance stages when I met her.  Just because I knew that one day I would see Robert suffer the same way she did, it did not stop me from loving him. And I wasn’t about to spend my life worrying about what was going to happen ten years down the road.  For all I know, we might die in a car accident on the way to work tomorrow, but that doesn’t mean that I stop going to work every day. I chose to take the time we could have together and enjoy it to the fullest and not worry about what tomorrow brings. 

Plus, I also put my faith in God that he would see us both through this and any other issues we might face.  And I take comfort in the reminder that God never gives us more than we can handle.  He is always there to help us through whatever he throws at us.  So, He must know that Robert and I can handle this whole thing together. He brought us together and has given us this life to share with all of the good and bad parts. 

I thank God every day for bringing me such a wonderful man and his great family.  I know it will not always be easy, but I am not going to let that sway me.  My only regret is that Robert and his family did not get to make that choice.  I still pray that one day that will be a cure to this deadly disease and no one else will suffer.  Until then, I will enjoy ever minute I can with him and not worry about what might come tomorrow. It may not have been the popular choice but it was my choice and I do not regret making the choice I made.