Stepping our of your Comfort Zone

One thing you  learn early in marriage is the art of compromise.  Sometimes, you have to do things that you don't want to do. It might mean stepping out of your comfort zone and doing something that your spouse wants to do. But in the end, you are glad you did it. Has that happened to anyone else before?

That is the story of what we did tonight. Something Robert was not comfortable doing but did it for me and now he is glad he did. And get your minds out of the gutter!

For some time now, I have wanted to attend the local Huntington's Disease support group but Robert has not wanted to. He isn't as bad off as many of the people there so it makes him uncomfortable. I can understand that  but I still wanted to go. So I pushed him a bit to do it and he finally agreed. Of course, before we left the house tonight, he was sitting on the couch, watching a movie and hoping that I would forget about it. Sorry, honey, but that didn't happen.

So, we went. And met some people of many different ages at varying stages of the disease. We were able to share a bit of our story and also learn the stories of the others in the group. It was nice to be able to talk to others living with the disease but also to the friends and families of those who are dealing with a loved one in the midst of the disease. It is a good reminder that we are not alone. There are others that are facing all of the ups and downs that we are dealing with, too. My simple comment of we finally got his brother approved for the disease was met with the knowing smiles of people who have faced that fight themselves. It was easily understood. 

There was also a social worker who works part time for the Huntington's Disease Society of America and knows a lot of information about the disease and what avenues to pursue when looking for care for someone with the disease. She was able to make some suggestions about how to go about finding Bill the necessary care that he needs. She gave us some phone numbers and some different ideas of how to go about finding the right place and paying for it as well.  So, it was a very worthwhile expedition for us tonight.

I am glad we went. Not just because of the information we received but because of the potential friendships that we have begun to build with people that understand the varying aspects and battles that we fight. All of our friends are great when we explain about the disease and are very understanding and accepting of it all and we truly appreciate each and everyone of them. But it is nice to be able to discuss symptoms of the disease with someone and not have to provide detailed explanations of it. When I say that Bill's cognitive ability is diminishing they can all immediately relate and understand with little explanation as to how. 

For that reason, I want to encourage anybody who is struggling with something - HD, death of a loved one, cancer or whatever else it might be - to look into a support group. Having people around that are struggling like you in a situation can often help make it easier to discuss since they have been there or are there right now. It might mean stepping out of your comfort zone, but it is worth it. Just ask Robert. For as apprehensive and uncomfortable as he was about going the first time, he must want to go back since he volunteered us to bring the snacks when we meet next month.