What About Adoption

So many people often ask why we haven’t considered adoption as an alternative. It is a great way to allow us to love a child and provide a better life for them than they have now. Plus, there is not a risk of passing on a genetic condition to a child that is not naturally ours. Honestly, we have looked into, talked about it, prayed about and spent many hours thinking about whether it is the best option for us. We have come to the conclusion that it is. We have been discouraged by the research we did that found going through the state will most likely not work. Even though Robert is currently not experiencing any serious symptoms of the disease, the state still does not consider us a good option. They do not like to place a child with a family that has a diagnosed life threatening medical condition. So, that leaves the private adoption route. We looked into this as well. One drawback is the huge expense we would have to pay for it, but that was not the real reason we decided not to adopt. The real reason has to do more with the time the entire process would take and Robert’s life expectancy. Even though he is currently not experience any major symptoms, he will. Based on genetic history of his family, the doctors figure that he will most likely begin to show more pronounced symptoms in his early 60’s. That is about 20 years or so from now. Since the adoption process can be long and drawn out, it might be another five years before we are chosen to be adoptive parents. That means that Robert would only have 15 years with the child, and the child would only have his or her father around for 15 years or so. Robert grew up with a very absentee father to begin with. Plus, his father died when Robert was in his 20’s, so he knows what is like to lose a parent at such a young age, too. Knowing his own health condition, Robert does not want to force his own child to go through what he had to. Plus, he had a hard time watching his mother slowly progress through the disease the last few years and he is much older. To be a teenager and have to watch your father go through the same thing is not something he wants to force on his own child.
In the end, we have counteracted our desire to have kids by helping out at our church and loving on the many nieces and nephews that our families have blessed us with. In addition, he does have a step-daughter from his first marriage that he considers his own and we spend time with her as well. Plus, since we can’t seem to agree on how to raise our dog, we probably wouldn’t be able to agree on how to raise a child either.