I Choose Joy

At our Womens Christmas Party at church the other night, the speaker talked about choosing joy. One of the things she mentioned is finding joy in the obvious things in your life. 

This ring brings me joy. Obviously.

it does bring me joy for some of the obvious reasons. It is a very beautiful ring. It symbolizes that  my amazing husband chose me as the person to spend his life with. He bought me this ring to symbolize that he thinks I am worthy of his love. These are obvious reasons it brings me joy.

However, it is the reasons that are not so obvious to the outside world that bring me the most joy when I look at this ring. 

About a month ago, I took my ring back to the jeweler for the routine cleaning and inspection. A few diamonds were loose. it had to be sent off for repair. It came back and still had a few stones loose so it had to be sent back for repair, again. So, for an entire month, I did not have this ring on my finger. Having my ring back makes me very happy.

More than that, this ring on my finger means that my husband is still here with me. It means that he is still a part of my life. I say that not because I think he will leave me but because I know that my time with my husband is limited. Not to be morbid, but the reality is that I will most likely not have him with me for as many years as most people enjoy with their spouse. That is Huntington's Disease. 

If the last year has taught me anything, it is that our time together is limited. More limited than what we thought it might be a year ago. So, each day I have with my husband is a day to celebrate. Before long, they will be nothing more than a memory.

This ring brings me so much joy. Each day I wear it is another day that I get to spend with him. I choose to find joy in this very obvious symbol of the love we share. 

What a Difference a Year Makes

Tomorrow, we leave for yet another trip to one of the Mouse's houses to celebrate our anniversary. This year, we are headed to Disneyland to celebrate 17 wonderful years together. 

I can't help but think of last November. It started out great! We went to Disneyworld and had an amazing week celebrating our 16th anniversary. However, the month would end with me having Covid and Robert checking himself into the hospital because of severe depression.

These events are the ones that lead us to the realization that Robert was beginning to show signs of Huntington's Disease. These are the events that resulted in his applying for disability. What we didn't realize is that this would be a blessing in disguise.

What?

The months leading up to being approved for disability were very hard for Robert. It was very stressful. He was worried about our financial situation and felt depressed because he was not able to help contribute to things the way he had before. He felt like he was a failure. 

That changed when we learned his application was approved. Once he knew there was steady income coming in again, he was able to relax. Plus, he now does some basic maintenance at the church a few days a week. All of this has actually helped to improve his mental state. He has been able to stop taking the anti-depressant that he was on.

So many things have happened since this time last year. Some good, some bad. Some things we were prepared for, some things we weren't. However, though it all, we have seen God's hand in all of it, in small and big ways. 

Now, as we prepare the last minute tasks for another anniversary trip guaranteed to make some amazing memories, we look forward to what the next year brings. I'm sure their will be many ups and downs but we are in it together and know that God's with us every step of the way. 

Things Nobody Tells You

It was one month ago today that we received the news we had been waiting for since January. Robert's application for SSDI was approved. Definitely news that is worth celebrating. However, there are things that nobody tells you about being approved. Things we have had to learn on the fly. 

The first one is when you actually receive your check each month. We assumed that you would receive a check around the third of the month like most people do with Social Security Retirement. That is incorrect. The day you receive your check is based on your birthday. So, Robert will be getting paid on the third Wednesday of the month. While in the long run, it doesn't make must of a difference, it is useful information. For us, it affects how we manage our budget each month. 

The second piece of information that we were not aware of pertains to taxes. Depending on your income, you may or may not have to pay taxes on your benefits. Robert's sister and brother have not had to pay taxes on their benefits because their monthly income is less than the taxable portion. However, if you notice below, for married couples, if the spouse is working, as a couple they will most likely have to pay taxes on the disability. 

You do have the option of having taxes deducted from your check each month if you would like. For some, this is beneficial to help from having that big tax bill at the end of each year. Either way, this is information that everybody needs to be aware of. 

The third piece of information is that you can actually do some limited work while on disability.  However, there are some restrictions. 

In other words, you can go work at Walmart as a greeter part-time if you want. I think this is one that really matters. For someone like Robert, having the ability to do something simple every day will be so helpful. While he will not be your neighborhood Walmart greeter, he does have some options to do things he already knows how to do. This will give him a purpose each day and a reason to get out of bed. Plus, it will help that part work ethic part of him that still exists. It makes him feel like he is helping to contribute to our household income. This all in turn helps him mentally as well. A person's mental state matters more than a lot of people realize so having something like this that will help is extremely helpful.

This journey is far from over. We continue to learn new things each day. As always, I will endeavor to share what we learn to help others navigate this world that is Social Security Disability. 

We Have A Decision (sort of)

When you get an email from Social Security saying they have an update for you, you open it with a little trepidation. Especially when you get the email around 11:30 on a Saturday morning. 

You take a deep breath, say a prayer and pull up the website, not sure what to think

But, then you see this...

Do you see that word in bold under the blue line? That word that says APPROVE? That's right! They made the decision to approve the application.

Huge relief!

So, what's next?

In 10-15 days, we will receive a detailed letter that explains the decision. This will tell us when the payments will start and how much they will pay each month. 

The day that payment begins is determined by the day the Social Security determines disability actually began. For Robert, was this when he checked himself into the hospital (November 30th), the last day he worked (December 20th) the day we officially filed the application (January 29th), the day Social Security began reviewing the application (February 17th), the day we saw the neuropsychologist (April 16th), the day they approved the claim (June 25th), or some other random day SSA decided on? The day is important. 

Payments will begin five months from the day it is determined that disability began. It is honestly an arbitrary decision based on what the person reviewing the application decides. The letter we receive should provide that date and the amount received each month. So we wait.

Regardless, this is a huge answer to the prayers of all of the family and friends over the last few months. While we haven't reached the end of this process, we can honestly say that we now see that light at the end of the tunnel and know that we will make it though. 

More updates to follow... 

Is No News Really Good News?

An update on our application for disability benefits, such as it is. 

If it normally takes about 170 days, we should have our results around August 6th, just over two months away. Based on when they first started the application to the progression today, it looks like things are right in line with that timeline. Since they do not provide any real information, though, until the final determination has been bad, we have no real idea what is really going on. Robert and I are not the most patient of people so the waiting game is frustrating.  

At least we know that progress is being made and we have no new requests for more information. So, does that mean they don't need any more information? Does this mean the information they have provided is enough to make a favorable decision? Is not hearing anything a good or bad thing?

Nobody really knows the answer but the person who has been assigned to Robert's request. So, we continue to wait until we hear more information. There is not much else that we can do. We go about our lives as we have been since we first filed the application and continue to pray for God's favor and a ruling beneficial to us.